Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My life - Part IV

Not too long after working in Insurance my brother got married and I went to the wedding. I loved the city so much I decided to move there. I was determined to purchase a home in the city he lived. After the wedding I was going to Charlotte every weekend looking for properties. I found this hidden neighborhood and went to look at at house that I absolutely loved. The only problem was it had a hill going down.

After I viewed that property I went through the neighborhood and saw my now house. I called the number on the sign and when I called the guy he asked me was I kidding him? I said no. I just looked at a property in the neighborhood but it had a hill and told him I wasnt from here and was looking to move here. The real estate agent told me he just put the sign on the home 15 minutes before I called him and he would meet me to view the property.

When I stepped foot in the house it was trashed. It was a foreclosure and owners trashed the house but something about that house spoke to me. I told him that I wanted it and I gave them almost what they were listing the house for. I didnt negotiate the price and the bank accepted my offer.

After I found my house I knew I could find a job in this new place so I called the first agent I found and I interviewed with them on a Sunday and they sent me an offer letter the next day. See how God was moving in my life.

I had been through a lot in life and I wanted some sort of stability. I had worked many retail jobs and they didnt pay a lot. I turned in my public housing to own my own home because that is what I wanted for my daughter and I.

God blessed me with a salary making $10,000 more than I was before and he blessed me with a house. I always told God before I die I wanted to own a home and he gave me what I asked for.

From My life part I to part IV God set people in my life to help me along my way. I didnt have an easy journey and still dont but God was with me along my journey. God blessed me in the place where I was and met me where I was. I started giving my life to God and no longer sought anything from anyone. I became self sufficient at a very young age and still am. I dont put my trust in man because I know first hand people can and will let you down. Ive had people use me, hit me, talk about me, kick me out, and cheat on me and that still didnt stop me from being who God called me to be.

Its when I stopped living for the world and started living for God that is when my whole life changed. The type of person I used to attract; I dont attract anymore. The friends I used to have; I dont call them friends anymore. The people who kicked me out; cant kick me out anymore. I didnt allow my circumstance or situation define who I am as a person or mother.

Yes I've had many challenges but I've learned in life you will either sink or swim. God took away my parents and I felt like I had no safety net. For a long time I lived in the desert. He gave me just enough to survive and gave me a life jacket when I started sinking.

I share this story because God has been with me. He was with me before I really knew He existed. When I was in my room and I asked God to show me that he was real by sending a breeze through my window..... That opened up the door for God to use me in ways that I never thought would happen. I never thought I would have the life that I do. I never thought that I would lose both of my parents before 14. I never thought that I would be a foster child. I never thought that I would be a mother at 17. I never thought that I would be in an abusive relationship. I never thought that I would have a hard life. I personally thought I would have a very priveledged life considering my up bringing. ( Father being a chemist and we lived in a 6 bedroom home behind a lake)

God will send you what you need when you need it. From my personal journey I know that God is real and he is always with you.

My Life - Part III

I told my sister that I wanted to go to school and she said you should go to school for hair. I told her I'd rather be an accountant because Im so good at math and numbers. She said I was great at hair and she sold me this vision on how I could do hair and make great money and I was good at it. I listened and went to school for hair.

I already knew how to do hair I just didnt have a license for that. After I completed school and passed my state board I worked in 3 salons and decided that wasnt the career for me. I would always keep my license for something to fall back on but I wasnt as passionate about it like I used to be.

So one day I went through the phone book and I was looking for a job. I really didnt care what type of job I had but I wanted an office job. I wanted to work for a construction company and I called every construction company in the phone book.

One guy answered the phone and I asked if he was hiring..... He said.... How did you hear about me? I said I'm going through the phone book calling companies because I need a job. He said that he liked my persistance and to come in for an interview. He gave me his address and it was a house. This was a house that I havent ever seen before. It was almost a castle.

He told me that he was thinking about hiring someone and then I called and he told me about his business. At that time I had no office experience and he hired me on the spot. I worked from sun up to sun down for my new boss. He was very hard on me and most days he would make me cry because he was hard on me but it helped me in the long run. He was a very hard man to please. He used to have me call his cable company and inquire why his bill went up $3. I could be on the phone for 2 hours but it was the principal for him.

This man taught me a lot. He taught me how to run a business. He built houses and he was part of the revitalization program with the city so they would build nice houses in the impoverished areas.

This man told me that I need to own and home and explained to me the benefits of owning your own home. I didnt think owning a home was within my reach because I was a single mother on assistance and I didnt have the money needed to buy property.

God sent an angel via my boss to teach and train me on how home ownership works. So I sought to be a homeowner. My boss told me he would build me a house at cost but I couldnt afford it but God had another plan.....

I loved my job but I wanted to make more money because I now wanted to be a homeowner. I was recruited by my friend to become an insurance agent. I took the class, passed my state board and became a licensed agent then I went to go work in insurance.

My Life - Part II

When you are a teenager you think you know it all. You think you have life figured out and nobody can tell you anything. Well.... thats what I thought.

I fell in love with this guy and felt like I would marry him. That didnt happen. I left everything I knew, dropped out of school to be with this guy. He financially took care of me and I thought my life was great.... until I started hearing of all the women he was dealing with.

At that time I had a high tolerance for BS because my emotions outweighed my thoughts. A lot of people dont know that having someone taking care of you comes at a price.

I wasnt living the life I was suppose to live.

I had gone from 2 parents to 1 parent to no parents, to living with relatives, to being in foster care, to running away, to going back home, to being kicked out from your home, to living with people who arent related to you, to trying to find your own.

That is a lot to go through within a 3 year timespan so when I finally felt like I had it together I didnt.

I got pregnant at 16 and had my daughter at 17. The man I was with was abusive and a cheater. I knew when I had my daughter I wasnt living in that kind of environment and I had to go but it wasnt that easy. I didnt have a job or any money so I didnt know how I could leave when I had nothing.

I got tired of getting hit, getting cursed out, getting cheated on, him staying out all night. It took a toll on me. I have no one that I felt like I could call to help me.

After my last fight with this man and he decided to put his hands on me I called the police and I left where I was. I went back to stay with my sister, then her mother in law, then I decided it was best for my daughter and I to live in a shelter. Anything was better than what I had previously.

I lived in the shelter for 4 months and it wasnt that bad. There were other women just like me there with their children and we all had something in common. We were trying to start over. I was 17 years old at the time and when I applied to live in the shelter I told them on how I got there and they allowed me to stay.

I dont think I was working at the time and I was looking for a job and trying to figure out how I could make it with a child. I knew nothing about children and had no direction.

After 4 months of living in a shelter I finally received my housing voucher and I got my own apartment. I thought that was a big step for me considering I havent really had any stability since my mom died. I was determined to make it in life.

My first job after I had my daughter was I worked at Head start. I loved working with kids. I went to social services and told them I wanted to finish school and needed some assistance with child care. I will never forget my case worker saying that this was my last chance and I better finish school. I went to Community college while working and got my Diploma. That was my first accomplishment.

Not long after that I wanted more than what I had and I sought to get it.

My Life- Part 1

My mom was sick with Cancer and when she sat us down to tell us she had cancer I cried. She told us she would be alright but she wouldnt be. Within 9 months of my mother telling us she had cancer she died.

My father left to go back to his country when I was 9 and my mother and father were married. My mother went from a wife to a single parent overnight.

It was a total of 4 of us and I have an older brother so my mom had 5 kids. When my dad left he left her with 4 girls and my little sister has cerebral pausy. With my dad leaving and my mom now having to raise 4 kids on her own it took a toll on her. I dont remember too much of my mom because she worked so much. She would work 2-3 jobs at any given time to make sure we had.

Before my mom died we moved to my mothers home town and all my sister went with different relatives.

My older sister stayed with her friend, I went to my aunts house, my middle sister went with my uncle, and my little sister went with my grandma.

I remember my last conversation with my mom and she said..... Hey Ifey.... How are you? I said Im fine. She asked me about my grades and I said they were ok. She said she loved me and to put my aunt on the phone and I did.

About 3 days later my aunt came into my room around 7:30am and told me that my mom died. I was numb. When you see someone go from 170 pounds to 83 pounds and see them suffer it takes a toll on you. I didnt even cry at my moms funeral because at that time I didnt know how to feel.

I had gone through a lot. Being a daddies girl then him leaving us. Then my mom struggling to keep us all together and her working so hard. Then my mom finding out she had cancer and dying within 9 months. Then I went to live with people I didnt know.

I acted out. I mean real bad. I was a rebellious child and at that time I didnt care whose feelings I hurt because I believe I was hurt but didnt know how to express what was bothering me.

When I was in school at my aunts house it was ok and I felt like I had some sense of normalcy depending on the cards I was dealt. I went to school and did ok but I didnt apply myself like I should have.

One day my sister came to live with my aunt and I and after that we began to be too much for my aunt. It wasnt long after that my aunt decided to place us in foster care.

I went to my first foster home and was ok. The people were nice and I was just a average teenager. Well..... I wasnt getting into trouble, experimenting with drugs, or even having sex so I guess I was a teenager that most parents would like. I had an attitude but what teenager doesnt.

My foster parents ended up taking in 3 other foster kids so they had a total of 3 teenagers (including me) and they adopted their son. They would fuss with each other but they barely ever had food for us. I told my case worker that and he would call the foster parents to let them know what I told them and when he would come. They would make sure to go grocery shopping when they knew he was coming. It essentially came out that they didnt have food and I was placed into another foster home.

Foster placement #2.........................

My case worker placed me with a family on the other side of town and I had to move schools. They were caucausian and had 1 other foster child. I was the oldest and I didnt fit in with them in the least. They told me that their friends refused to come to their home because they had a "nigger" living there and they told me that their friends called them "nigger lovers". I think I was there about 2 weeks before I ran away. Their friend kept threatening them and they would tell me and I didnt feel comfortable living there so I ran away.

I went back to the only place that I called home. I called my older sister and told her what I was going through and she told my case worker she would take me so I moved.

My sister enrolled me in school and I worked at KFC part time after school and I thought life was good. My grades were ok and I finally was in a place that I felt calm...... That didnt last long.

Out of the blue my father appeared out of no where. He called my sister and told her it was him and my exact words were........... dont go and pick him up and you leave him right where he stands. We hadnt heard from this man since I was 9 and at the time I was 16 years old. He was about to declared legally dead because we hadnt had any contact with him in 7 years and he knew when to come back.

My sister didnt listen to me and she went to get him. Less than 3 days later he started to argue with us and kicked us out of my mothers home.

My mother and father were married and since the house was in both of their names when she died the house was legally his. We havent heard from this man in 7 years and he didnt send my mom any money for us or anything. He hadnt even paid taxes on this house and by law he kicked us out.

At this time my older sister was my guardian, my middle sister aged out of foster care, and I was 16 and we all lived togher. We all had to move out and we went to go stay with my sisters boyfriends mom.

This is a lot for a child to go through.....................

We stayed with my sisters boyrfriends mom for about 4 months. I was happy that we had somewhere to go but we knew we couldnt stay long.

My middle sister decided to go to college, my older sister decided to get married, and I didnt know what to do because I felt like nothing in my life was stable and I needed my own. I decided to move away and I fell in love with someone and ended up having a child at 17.

My problems started there............................

Testing God

Many times I sit back and think about where I am and how I got there. I think about that a lot to be honest. One thing that I've learned about life...... Its always changing.

I wasnt brought up in the church; matter of fact my father used to tell us there was no God. My mother on the other hand told us there was a God and to serve him. I knew there was always a higher being I just didnt really know him personally.

Let me share a story on how I met the Lord.

I was a rebellious child. Yes I really was. My brother and sisters can attest that I was far from the Lord.

One day I was in my room and it was spring time. I had my windows open because it was hot and there was no breeze in sight. My mother was the type of mother who believed in opening windows for fresh air and so we wouldnt have to use our air conditioner.

That day in my room it was so hot and I believe I was yelling at my mom for something I cant remember. She said something about God and I said how he didnt exist. I slammed my door. Note now it was a hot day and there was no breeze coming in. I said to God if you are real and if you do exist send a breeze through my window.

At the time I had white lace curtains surrounding my window and it wasnt even 30 seconds later a breeze came through my windows and my white lace curtains were swinging left and right. I was shocked. I was around 12-13 years old and that was my first God experience. From that day on I knew there was a God.

I tested God and once I asked him to show me if he existed He did. From that day one I became a believer of God. Then my whole life would change...............

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Relationships.... A personal outlook

Relationships seem to be a never ending topic that we all can discuss. I for one know that I am biased when it comes to the opposite sex. I dont mean that I always stick up for men..... I mean that the only thing you can trust out of anyone is for them to be who they are.

Most people have had at least one bad relationship. (Everyone has their own meaning of bad)but I can say that relationships and what you experience in them make you grow to understand how people are and how you deal with them.

I have a lot of people ask me why are you single....... I'm not sure if that is something that you ask someone but my general answer is; "If it ain't broke don't fix it." I will elaborate on that a little more.

Personally, I dont think that there a perfect man or woman for anyone. I believe people have certain tolerance levels and relationships can be based on what you are willing to tolerate. Some men and women choose to tolerate nonsense and some tend not to deal ie. being single.

Rather if you are in a relationship or not everyone has their own views on what relationships mean to them.

For me; I feel like a relationship should be 50/50. Yes I said 50/50. I dont think its realistic for someone to say that a man should do XYZ..... That's not realistic or fair. For some reason people have this pre-conceived notion that men are to do everything for a woman and I dont know where people received this information from. Not one story in the bible do you read that a woman did nothing and a man did it all.

Again some people have unrealistic expectations when it comes to the opposite sex and they wonder why they arent in long lasting relationships or not in a relationship at all.

I believe people are who they are and everyone comes with baggage. Whether its insecurities from a past relationship, debt, working too much/working too little/not working at all, living arrangements, and even transportation.

Every single person has something that they bring to a relationship whether its good or bad but the key is finding the right person that can deal with your gifts and/or your baggage.

There are some women in this world who take care of men. They have no problem being the bread winner and just long to have companionship.

There are men in this world who are great guys but they keep entertaining the wrong type of woman and women tend to use them for whatever gifts they have.

There are some people who have been so hurt by past relationships they have lost their self worth and feel as though they arent loved and love will never find them.

I believe everyone should evaluate where they are in their relationship and ask themselves if they are really happy with where they are.

If you find yourself to be truly happy where you are in your current relationship and feel that the person you married to; or if you are with your significant other that completes you in every way consider yourself blessed.

If you find yourself on the fence about being with your significant other and the issues you/them are dealing I would say pray about it.

I have learned in past realationships that God always gives us a warning signal. Whether its green light, yellow light , or red light its up to us to see the signs that we are given. I've had people even ask me how can you hear the Lord speak to you. I tell every woman its call intuition and thats one of many gifts God gave to women. Our heart can tell us something but your mind can block it out because our mind has a way to justify our decision but our heart advises us which way to go.

I find myself being single and happy. I feel like there is a lot of trash out there in the world and I dont care to entertain it. I'm not saying that all men are trash; I'm simply saying that I happen to enjoy not being in a relationship. Since I can remember I have always been in a relationship and I found myself being so much happier when I wasnt in one and I dont apologize for that.

Do I think that real love exist. Yes of course!................. BUT I believe that its based on your tolerated level.

Most women wish for someone who is faithful, secure, intelligent, honest, caring, God fearing and who is a provider. I can personally count on less than 4 fingers the amount of men that I know that fit that description. Not saying that a man like this doesnt exist.... Im saying I know a lot of men and less than 4 fit this criteria.

I personally believe that there is the right person for you out there but you need to clear yourself from the people that you attract if you arent attracting the right type of person. We all give off vibes (aura's) and if you find yourself attracting the same type of guy with the same type of motives its time to purge and ask God to remove what is attracting that type of person from you. I say that from personal experience and that worked for me.

I no longer attract men who seek to use and abuse me. Why? Because I dont entertain it. I used to entertain a whole bunch of mess and when I started to ask myself why and told myself I deserve better I started clearing house. I blocked calls, text, and emails from people who kept seeking to use me. (Friendships included)

When you seal the gaps from your life its hard for the enemy to creep in because you dont have a crack in your foundation.

Start sealing the cracks in your life and start enjoying the people and relationships God means for you to have.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

My Review


Loving these Floors

By Ifeyini from Charlotte, NC on 1/2/2013

 

5out of 5

I love my new living room floor. I removed my calico cherry floor and installed this floor. It took about 3 days for me to install because I was limited on time and I installed them myself. This was the 1st time I actually took the time to install them and I love the results.

thumbnail

Tags: Using Product, Picture of Product

(legalese)

Living Room Changes and Updates

So I decided to re-paint my living room to give it a new look. So I changed the color from Yellow to Brandied Pear. I found the color at Lowes and it’s from Olympic Paint line. It is in the white family and I love the look and feel of the new color. I went through so many paint colors since purchasing my home and I’m glad that I finally found the one the finally speaks to me.



Please excuse the mess I was in the middle of patching up my walls……………..




I had to do some more patch work to the walls. 





And now I love my new living room color






But I didn’t stop there……………………..

I loved my laminate floors but I always wanted a dark floor. My ultimate goal is to purchase black hardwood floors a couple of years from now so I was off to do a search on a new floor. Last year for my birthday I hired my neighbor Luis to install these floors but I wanted a darker floor.
I went to Lumber Liquidators and I found the floor that I fell in love with. It’s called Angel Fire Cherry Laminate. They had a sale and the laminate was $.79 a sq. ft. and it’s regularly $.99 a sq. ft. and these floors are 8mm thick. That was 1mm thicker than my Calico Cherry floors that you see above. I purchased the floor and decided to self-install them myself.




See the color difference from the Angel Fire Cherry and the Calico Cherry…………



I decided to start at the opposite side of where Luis started because I thought it would be easier to install. I guess correctly. I removed all the base boards from the walls and I laid down the floor. It was simple as making a cake until it was time to get around the doors…………….
It took me over a day to figure out how to cut around the door jam and I had to start praying because I was getting frustrated. Then the Lord said for me to cut the tongue and groove so it would fit.






After I cut the tongue and groove and measured the door jamb so I could cut the top part of the laminate it laid down flat. I didn’t even have to use any laminate glue. I did the same for the other side of the door opening.




It took me 2 days after I finally figured out how to cut around the door jambs to complete the floor. I have a little one and I was on a time crunch but I didn’t spend all day of the floors. I think I could have completed them within 15 hours if I could have worked nonstop with no interruptions. 
When I installed the last row towards the wall the floors wouldn’t lay flat so I used the same method by cutting the tongue and groove and the floors locked right in place.





Do you see the gap? Let me show you how to close it…….




Use your pull bar to close it









Now you don’t see the gap anymore because I cut the groove part and used my pull bar and tapped it where the gap closed. 



I had Luis come back to install the base boards because silly me decided to leave the 16 ft. baseboard outside and it shrunk. Who knew base boards shrunk? Well I had to purchase a new baseboard and he finished the trim as well.










This is how I gave my living room a new makeover for less than $400.00. The floors were around $320.00 and the paint was $25.97 + tax. I used Olympic Eggshell finish paint and the color I chose was Brandied Pear. I painted my whole living room with less than one gallon of paint. I used the paint and primer mix. It cost more but it saves time which is effort for me. J

 
 wanted to share the links of where you can see which paint and floors I used. I am very pleased with my new living room update.

Olympic Paint & Primer Eggshell Finish

Angel Fire Cherry Laminate Floors

Brandied Pear Paint Color