Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My Life - Part II

When you are a teenager you think you know it all. You think you have life figured out and nobody can tell you anything. Well.... thats what I thought.

I fell in love with this guy and felt like I would marry him. That didnt happen. I left everything I knew, dropped out of school to be with this guy. He financially took care of me and I thought my life was great.... until I started hearing of all the women he was dealing with.

At that time I had a high tolerance for BS because my emotions outweighed my thoughts. A lot of people dont know that having someone taking care of you comes at a price.

I wasnt living the life I was suppose to live.

I had gone from 2 parents to 1 parent to no parents, to living with relatives, to being in foster care, to running away, to going back home, to being kicked out from your home, to living with people who arent related to you, to trying to find your own.

That is a lot to go through within a 3 year timespan so when I finally felt like I had it together I didnt.

I got pregnant at 16 and had my daughter at 17. The man I was with was abusive and a cheater. I knew when I had my daughter I wasnt living in that kind of environment and I had to go but it wasnt that easy. I didnt have a job or any money so I didnt know how I could leave when I had nothing.

I got tired of getting hit, getting cursed out, getting cheated on, him staying out all night. It took a toll on me. I have no one that I felt like I could call to help me.

After my last fight with this man and he decided to put his hands on me I called the police and I left where I was. I went back to stay with my sister, then her mother in law, then I decided it was best for my daughter and I to live in a shelter. Anything was better than what I had previously.

I lived in the shelter for 4 months and it wasnt that bad. There were other women just like me there with their children and we all had something in common. We were trying to start over. I was 17 years old at the time and when I applied to live in the shelter I told them on how I got there and they allowed me to stay.

I dont think I was working at the time and I was looking for a job and trying to figure out how I could make it with a child. I knew nothing about children and had no direction.

After 4 months of living in a shelter I finally received my housing voucher and I got my own apartment. I thought that was a big step for me considering I havent really had any stability since my mom died. I was determined to make it in life.

My first job after I had my daughter was I worked at Head start. I loved working with kids. I went to social services and told them I wanted to finish school and needed some assistance with child care. I will never forget my case worker saying that this was my last chance and I better finish school. I went to Community college while working and got my Diploma. That was my first accomplishment.

Not long after that I wanted more than what I had and I sought to get it.