Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My Life- Part 1

My mom was sick with Cancer and when she sat us down to tell us she had cancer I cried. She told us she would be alright but she wouldnt be. Within 9 months of my mother telling us she had cancer she died.

My father left to go back to his country when I was 9 and my mother and father were married. My mother went from a wife to a single parent overnight.

It was a total of 4 of us and I have an older brother so my mom had 5 kids. When my dad left he left her with 4 girls and my little sister has cerebral pausy. With my dad leaving and my mom now having to raise 4 kids on her own it took a toll on her. I dont remember too much of my mom because she worked so much. She would work 2-3 jobs at any given time to make sure we had.

Before my mom died we moved to my mothers home town and all my sister went with different relatives.

My older sister stayed with her friend, I went to my aunts house, my middle sister went with my uncle, and my little sister went with my grandma.

I remember my last conversation with my mom and she said..... Hey Ifey.... How are you? I said Im fine. She asked me about my grades and I said they were ok. She said she loved me and to put my aunt on the phone and I did.

About 3 days later my aunt came into my room around 7:30am and told me that my mom died. I was numb. When you see someone go from 170 pounds to 83 pounds and see them suffer it takes a toll on you. I didnt even cry at my moms funeral because at that time I didnt know how to feel.

I had gone through a lot. Being a daddies girl then him leaving us. Then my mom struggling to keep us all together and her working so hard. Then my mom finding out she had cancer and dying within 9 months. Then I went to live with people I didnt know.

I acted out. I mean real bad. I was a rebellious child and at that time I didnt care whose feelings I hurt because I believe I was hurt but didnt know how to express what was bothering me.

When I was in school at my aunts house it was ok and I felt like I had some sense of normalcy depending on the cards I was dealt. I went to school and did ok but I didnt apply myself like I should have.

One day my sister came to live with my aunt and I and after that we began to be too much for my aunt. It wasnt long after that my aunt decided to place us in foster care.

I went to my first foster home and was ok. The people were nice and I was just a average teenager. Well..... I wasnt getting into trouble, experimenting with drugs, or even having sex so I guess I was a teenager that most parents would like. I had an attitude but what teenager doesnt.

My foster parents ended up taking in 3 other foster kids so they had a total of 3 teenagers (including me) and they adopted their son. They would fuss with each other but they barely ever had food for us. I told my case worker that and he would call the foster parents to let them know what I told them and when he would come. They would make sure to go grocery shopping when they knew he was coming. It essentially came out that they didnt have food and I was placed into another foster home.

Foster placement #2.........................

My case worker placed me with a family on the other side of town and I had to move schools. They were caucausian and had 1 other foster child. I was the oldest and I didnt fit in with them in the least. They told me that their friends refused to come to their home because they had a "nigger" living there and they told me that their friends called them "nigger lovers". I think I was there about 2 weeks before I ran away. Their friend kept threatening them and they would tell me and I didnt feel comfortable living there so I ran away.

I went back to the only place that I called home. I called my older sister and told her what I was going through and she told my case worker she would take me so I moved.

My sister enrolled me in school and I worked at KFC part time after school and I thought life was good. My grades were ok and I finally was in a place that I felt calm...... That didnt last long.

Out of the blue my father appeared out of no where. He called my sister and told her it was him and my exact words were........... dont go and pick him up and you leave him right where he stands. We hadnt heard from this man since I was 9 and at the time I was 16 years old. He was about to declared legally dead because we hadnt had any contact with him in 7 years and he knew when to come back.

My sister didnt listen to me and she went to get him. Less than 3 days later he started to argue with us and kicked us out of my mothers home.

My mother and father were married and since the house was in both of their names when she died the house was legally his. We havent heard from this man in 7 years and he didnt send my mom any money for us or anything. He hadnt even paid taxes on this house and by law he kicked us out.

At this time my older sister was my guardian, my middle sister aged out of foster care, and I was 16 and we all lived togher. We all had to move out and we went to go stay with my sisters boyfriends mom.

This is a lot for a child to go through.....................

We stayed with my sisters boyrfriends mom for about 4 months. I was happy that we had somewhere to go but we knew we couldnt stay long.

My middle sister decided to go to college, my older sister decided to get married, and I didnt know what to do because I felt like nothing in my life was stable and I needed my own. I decided to move away and I fell in love with someone and ended up having a child at 17.

My problems started there............................